I dislike you guys but it still hurts when you don't invite me to your outings.
Ahahahahah.

No, really.
Go fuck yourselves.

Also, Merry Christmas!

Edit/
And now you're talking to me? Wow. W o w.
Get the fuck out.

hahahahahah
i hate how you make me feel
hahahahahahaha

I want the good old day of crushes back :(
I don't want to go out on dates with guys I barely know
I want to have a crush on someone and experience the elation of finding out that he likes me back, the elation of going on that first date

This is prompted by 2 guys asking me out/for my number at work. Both of whom I said no to. But still. Eurgh.

I have been single all of this year, dear god.

2012, please be good to me :(

It's nice to know you're proud of me, really. But I'm not proud of myself. That's why I don't want people knowing. I'm sorry. I know I beat a lot of your friend's children. And that makes you proud? I don't know. I just don't want people knowing. It's not good enough for me. It doesn't show my true potential. And yeah, near the end I didn't study hard enough. I know I didn't. I crammed like fuck. And that doesn't make me proud. I know you'll still love me. Even when I'm being difficult, but sorry. I'm so sorry.

I love that this has somehow turned into a 'thing'.

My brother (Raymond) and I are having movie series marathons during these holidays! It started when I was watching Lord of the Rings and he wanted in, LOL. We make popcorn and everything too LOL. Transformers is next, and I want to watch/re-watch Batman but he was like, 'no', and he wanted to watch Rambo and I was like, 'no' LOL.

In other new, our HSC results are out. Am I gonna tell anyone? Ahahaha, no. I kinda raged at my parents when they were trying to find out, and I feel guilty now. But. Like. Seriously. All they're going to do is compare me to other people's children. And do I want that? No. I don't care if I got higher than them, I'm still not sharing.

I'm going to get into uni. I know that for a fact. Isn't that all that matters?

The formal is tomorrow, and I am totally unprepared. LOL. If Monica妹妹 goes into labour today/tomorrow I am totally fucked for hair and make-up LOL. Also, accessories. I've only got a necklace and no bangles/bracelets. Idek if the necklace suits the dress, LMAO. Oh god.

It's supposed to be raining tomorrow, and everyone's like >:( at the weather. I think I'm the only one celebrating it. Partly because I love the rain, and partly because I take pleasure in people-I-don't-like's pain. Ahahah. I'm so mean. But seriously.

Also, ep 3.07 of Glee is airing tomorrow (for Australians). Kurt's going to lose the election and I'm going to cry. And PERFECT. And creyz. creyz. creyz. No but seriously. I will be sobbing before I do my hair and make-up and then I will look not nice. LOL. OH AND. We were going to have a girl's night thing with Lisa and Jess for the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show because it airs tomorrow as well! But noooo, stupid formal is in the way.

Oh and people asked me to go drinking after formal. Ahahahahahah. I have never touched a drink in my life. What. Wtf.

Okay. Yeah.
Not Excited.

I'm breaking out. So fucking badly. To the point where I don't want to go outside without make-up. I'd rather just sit at home reading fic/sleeping/watching tv shows.

I went to the dermatologist today. I start roaccutane treatment next week. Which means, my face won't clear up in time for he formal. God, I really don't want to go. It's a night where everybody's supposed to look good. And I will be here just like. Hi. The HSC made me break out so now I look like a monster, please go away.

Omg. Eurgh.

Fuck. Life.

Fuck you Mac Fields.

Yeah, I just like blaming everything on MF, nbd.

God, I just realised how much I don't want to hang out with you people.

Edit (14/11)/
I don't want to go to the formal either.
I wish Danny Pham was going :(

Glee's S03E05 makes me yearn for love. I want to have a first love like that. Not like Rachel and Finn, where she makes it seem like she's giving something to him - but like Kurt and Blaine, where their first time is something special, something they both want.

For a lot of high school students, I think the formal is a night to lose this part of them. But for me, it's not going to happen lulz.

I just really want somebody to love me like that. I want to fall in love with someone, and not care what anybody thinks.

I don't see the point of lecturing me. Just save your breath.

I will clean my room eventually - it hasn't even been a week since the end of HSC and you're already hassling me. Just fucking chill. It will get done. If it bothers you so fucking much, don't come into my room.

It isn't my fucking fault that nobody's replied to me. I have applied at places. I have been calling David Jones. It is not my fucking fault that they haven't replied.

Stop fucking comparing me to other children. I am not K. I do not want to study medicine. And last I hear - you didn't want me to fucking apply interstate, so if anything, this is not my fault. Also, I told you I didn't want to do medicine. Did you listen to me? No. You told me to go fucking do UMAT anyway. Whose fault is it that I wasted the money & time going there. Not fucking mine.

Sor-fucking-ry I'm not good enough.

Have a fucking cry, because I'm not going to uni for you. I'm going for me. I'm going to see what I want to do in life, what I can offer. I want to experience everything that life can offer. I can't do that with medicine. So too fucking bad.

I said I'd be back after physics... but I just came back from my first recruitment/interview thing! LOL. I don't think it was a formal interview. They just asked about my resume, what I've done, my availability etc. So, the next one is a group interview and I have to buy business attire for it. Eurgh. And then what if I don't get it :(

In the beginning, I had no idea where I was supposed to go. I was like, uh. Do I wait for the store to open.. Or do I go through the staff entrance. And I was really early cos I came at 9. Then I decided to get a cappuccino which was deeeee-licious. Like. Best one I've ever had. Definitely buying from there again. Anyway, I ended up going through the staff entrance and there were all these older people in business suits and I was like ;_; fml, never gonna get the job. Anyway, at 9:30 they asked us to go the rooms where we'd wait for our 'interviews' and I kind-of made friends with the people sitting at my table :). They were telling me about their past jobs and experiences and this is what I've learnt: At Myer, apparently they treat the staff like they're stupid and you only get a 10% discount if you work there, at General Pants Co/Surf Dive n' Ski, it is really harsh. You have individual sales targets and if you don't meet them, you don't get shifts. Like what D: and you're supposed to sell 2.8 items per customer like ;_; and David Jones is the best by far, with 20-30% discounts and the people were really nice LOL.

Anyway, I was 2nd to go to do the 'interview' and I was really nervous. But the lady was nice and I think I did okay :) I'm getting another group interview after HSC, so I think this is the formal one. I have to buy business attire :( after the interview, I was waiting for the lift with the lady who went 1st for the interview. Her name is Cora and she is from the Philippines :) she has 3 children and 6 grandchildren LOL. She was really nice :) We went shopping together for my grey/black skirts but we couldn't find any cheap ones LOL. So we went home. She lives at Rockdale so I took the train home by myself like a loner.

And then I bought lip balm (BUY 2 GET 1 FREE LOL) at Cabra and then I went home.

LOL.

And that was my day. How was yours?

I think that whilst technology can greatly enhance communication and allows people to keep in touch, it just does not match up to human relationships.

I don't know.

I just really miss Vivek.

I am in love with Josh Groban's voice. But as Amy noticed, I am in love with anybody who has a deep enough voice and can sing. /CoughCrissColfer



Okay, that is all.
Bye.

See you after the HSC.
If I don't die after my physics exam.
Which is on 4/11.

90 ATAR coming my way guise

I think, to really be able to escape high school - and the people there, I'd have to go to USyd. Everyone at my school is so dedicated to UNSW, and I'm here like... Oh. Okay. I wouldn't mind going to either. But now that they're all expressing interests in UNSW Commerce... meaning I would have to see them at uni as well... I'm thinking of putting Commerce (Liberal Studies) at USyd first now. Right now, Commerce (Intl) at UNSW is first. But the thing is - the cut-off at Usyd is 98 and the cut-off at UNSW is 97. In the chance that I don't get either of those (highly likely), my third choice is Commerce (Liberal Studies) at UNSW, which they offer bonus points for. I think I'll probably get in. Then again, I could go through the doctor path - Adv Sci/Arts and then post-graduate medicine...

Argh, idk.
I'll probably leave it as it is now.
We'll see what happens

#i have never been so excited for a fictional pair to have sex in my entire life
^ TRUTH

TMI? TMI. Okay. Just sayin'
NOVEMBER 8 GUISE

How do I start this? It's going to be a new beginning for me, and what better way than to start a new blog! Am I right? No, okay.

The HSC is in less than a month, and I really can't be bothered to study. At this rate, I'm going not going to get a Band 6 in anything. All I can think about is the life after that - the parties, the books, the beaches. THE TIME. And seriously, I will get a part-time job and get everything on my wish list. Hopefully. LOL.

It feels like a new start. I don't know why. School hasn't really officially ended yet - we haven't signed out/completed our exams - but I feel fresh. I have a new outlook to life, I think. I haven't really bitched about anyone in ages, and I feel really happy these days. Life's good.

I'm letting go of everything. I've confirmed that J, whom I consider my first love, has moved on, and there is no point going back. It was fun while it lasted. You were my longest relationship (so far), and I don't think I'll ever forget you. Thank you for everything, you were a wonderful boyfriend.

I've also been following Glee. Those who follow my tumblr will get annoyed at the Kurt/Blaine spam. I apologise. LOL. I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THEM. I care about their relationship more than my own. Seriously.

Anyway, Edward took me out today. It was fun. I also like Chris Colfer.
Here, have a picture


Have another picture


Bye guys, back to studying!